it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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