She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
