It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
PANTIES FOUND
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