Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you didnt know i had herpes?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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