Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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