Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
