it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize