Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm both gender and math confused
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
