i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
