Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
