Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
