you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
