I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
