I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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