I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
