at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
