do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize