Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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