His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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