Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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