Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
