Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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