Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
organizing the empties. That sober.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize