Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
