They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
