Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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