so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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