I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
