I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
