I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
