You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
