I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Randomize
