i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize