another moral hangover. fuck.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
