Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We were destined to go to rehab together
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
