I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Screwed.edu
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
