I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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