ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
