Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize
