Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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