and she was petting her beer can
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
