She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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