Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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