I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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