I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
