would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
