if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
