I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
