Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Just puked most of my soul out..
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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