you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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