if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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