I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
