Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
