Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize