If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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