BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
