I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
