Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
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