is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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