Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Semen is not good for contacts.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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