Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
