Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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