he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
