He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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