I'm lost and stupid without you.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
