Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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