almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
