Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
