ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
