I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
