Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Randomize
