didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
North Korea, Best Korea!
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
