Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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