***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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