I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
