no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
